As you start watching the first episode of Sex and the City, you lean about the story of an english woman who gets dumped by a male new yorker, after thinking that would be a long lasting relationship. As a ‘sexual anthropologist’, Carrie Bradshaw takes her time to study why 30-something unmarried women can’t find eligible men and what the solution for that possible issue could be.
A couple reasons for the ‘problem’ are offered by two men, both of them blaming women. It could either be due to the fact that women want to have more power than men, which clashes with men wanting more power than women, or due to the fact that men do not want to have children right away, which is apparently what you get when you date a 30-something woman. I believe in equality, at least when it comes to power within relationships. 30-something women should have as much power within their relationships as everyone else. As to having children right away, based on my personal experience, I do not think that children should be the main focus when looking for a partner. I try to base my partner choices as how happy I am with that specific person.
Maybe I am being naive because of my age. I am a 20-something woman. Is there a big difference between what unmarried 20-something women and unmarried 30-something women are looking for? I am also portuguese, so my experience may be very different from that of someone living in New York City.
Putting aside the binary system prevalent in this episode (and during the rest of the series), I do not believe that all 30-something women should base their life around finding an eligible man to marry. A person’s worth should be measured by their own perspective and not by others. Even though it is important to receive feedback from other people, which helps us build our own self-image, this should always be filtered. This issue appears when Skipper is nice to Miranda and she gives him a hard time because she ultimately seems to think he is too young for her and she is not worthy of his attraction. This may be a better explanation as to why some people can’t find a partner (which is not essential as discussed before).
The great solution for lonely unmarried 30-something women is given my Samantha when she suggests they could simply start having ‘sex like men’. Having ‘sex like men’, according to Samantha, means having sex without feeling. Once again I may be biased but so far I haven’t found a difference between how much women and men feel during sex. Besides, what does feel mean in this context? Is it feeling connection? Connection during sexual activity should not be based on how long the people involved will see each other afterwards.
This was not the best pilot episode I have ever seen. It involves many preconceptions and the prevalence of a binary system that should be long gone. Once one of my favourite series, due to my desire to become a writer, such as Carrie, this is now a series that I will watch only for the sake of research and self-reflection.