Unmarried women relying on sex without feelings

As you start watching the first episode of Sex and the City, you lean about the story of an english woman who gets dumped by a male new yorker, after thinking that would be a long lasting relationship. As a ‘sexual anthropologist’, Carrie Bradshaw takes her time to study why 30-something unmarried women can’t find eligible men and what the solution for that possible issue could be.

A couple reasons for the ‘problem’ are offered by two men, both of them blaming women. It could either be due to the fact that women want to have more power than men, which clashes with men wanting more power than women, or due to the fact that men do not want to have children right away, which is apparently what you get when you date a 30-something woman. I believe in equality, at least when it comes to power within relationships. 30-something women should have as much power within their relationships as everyone else. As to having children right away, based on my personal experience, I do not think that children should be the main focus when looking for a partner. I try to base my partner choices as how happy I am with that specific person.

Maybe I am being naive because of my age. I am a 20-something woman. Is there a big difference between what unmarried 20-something women and unmarried 30-something women are looking for? I am also portuguese, so my experience may be very different from that of someone living in New York City.

Putting aside the binary system prevalent in this episode (and during the rest of the series), I do not believe that all 30-something women should base their life around finding an eligible man to marry. A person’s worth should be measured by their own perspective and not by others. Even though it is important to receive feedback from other people, which helps us build our own self-image, this should always be filtered. This issue appears when Skipper is nice to Miranda and she gives him a hard time because she ultimately seems to think he is too young for her and she is not worthy of his attraction. This may be a better explanation as to why some people can’t find a partner (which is not essential as discussed before).

The great solution for lonely unmarried 30-something women is given my Samantha when she suggests they could simply start having ‘sex like men’. Having ‘sex like men’, according to Samantha, means having sex without feeling. Once again I may be biased but so far I haven’t found a difference between how much women and men feel during sex. Besides, what does feel mean in this context? Is it feeling connection? Connection during sexual activity should not be based on how long the people involved will see each other afterwards.

This was not the best pilot episode I have ever seen. It involves many preconceptions and the prevalence of a binary system that should be long gone. Once one of my favourite series, due to my desire to become a writer, such as Carrie, this is now a series that I will watch only for the sake of research and self-reflection.

Advertisements

House M.D.: Unrealistic?

As a child I grew up enjoying House M.D. but, as time goes by, all the issues I find comparing what happens in the TV series and what happens in real life hospitals in Portugal keep lowering my level of enjoyment while watching it.

The opinion I will express here is based on what I have experienced living in Portugal and being a physiotherapy intern in portuguese hospitals. There may be a different reality somewhere in the United States of America, where the series’ action takes place.

When my knowledge was barely enough to recognize what a doctor does within the walls of a hospital, I believed that everything happening in Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital represented the reality. As I grew older and I started watching other TV series, such as Grey’s Anatomy, I realized things weren’t that simple.

What is represented in House M.D. is a team of doctors that, even though are part of the Diagnostic Medicine team, perform surgeries and everything else a patient needs while hospitalized.

The team work that is involved in a real life hospital (at least in a portuguese one) is much better represented in Grey’s Anatomy, as different specialities come together to treat a patient that needs different interventions, instead of the prevalence of a single team performing every task necessary, no matter which specialty it usually belongs to. Looking at you, Wilson, “oncologist”.

Besides that issue, which is the one that makes me unwilling to keep watching House M.D. since I feel I am not learning much about real life interventions, there are also the ethical ones.

It is one thing to give a patient a treatment when it is the only option you have to improve its situation, even though there may be some uncertainty about its diagnosis. It is different when other possibilities have not yet been excluded and doctors keep trying treatment after treatment. What I keep noticing in the Diagnostic Medicine team’s meetings is a discussion until they reach a possible diagnosis. After that, the possibility is investigated by either the patient being tested or being treated. Only after the result of the treatment (usually a decline in the patient’s situation), there is another meeting in which the team tries to find an alternative diagnosis. The question I ask is: why not start by thinking about every single possibility instead of interrupting immediately the meetings everytime a plausible one appears?

Even though that may bring some concerns, the worst issue I have with House M.D. is situations in which the patient’s decisions are not respected. For example, in DNR (season 1, episode 9) the patient signs a do-not-resuscitate order and is intubated anyway.

I am tired of unrealistic medicine TV shows and movies. They lose their appeal to me and I am sure I am not the only one feeling this way.

The Karate Kid?

I remember the 1984 movie from when I was younger and today was the first time watching the 2010 movie. I’ll make sure to rewatch the original one soon but today I want to talk about the most recent one.

Is it amazing or what? There were moments in which I forgot I was watching a movie. It felt like a true story. The best part for me was Jackie Chan’s interpretation. That critical moment in his part (I’m not giving you any spoilers but people who watched it will understand) was beautiful.

Ever though I enjoyed it a lot, I’ve got an honest concern to express. Is karate the same as kung fu? I’m confused. Why is the movie called Karate Kid if the kid fights Kung Fu? I don’t know if I’ll understand it in the future, watching the related movies, but I still want to express it here.

What I think about Bridget Jones’s movies

Image result for bridget jones

I’ve never been a fan of the Bridget Jones’s movies. I’ve always felt that they were shallow and that they couldn’t teach me anything. She seems incapable of being happy without a man by her side and I can’t support that message. Just a few hours ago I watched Bridget Jones’s Baby and I felt a little bit different. Even though this last movie was not enough for make me empathize with her in any way, I felt that it had a lot more sense in it and that it didn’t come across as shallow as the other two I watched before. I don’t feel like I want to read any of the Bridget Jones’s books but I could do it if I ever come across them. That’s more than I’d say before and I think that’s due to this last movie I watched.

First time watching The Book Thief

Image result for the book thief movie

I just watched The Book Thief for the first time. I read the novel in which the movie is based last year and it instantly became one of my favourite books ever read. We all know it’s hard to watch a movie after reading a book because we can’t help but noticing everything that’s changed or missing. In this case, I enjoyed the movie a little less than the book but it still made me feel a lot of what I felt with the book.