I’ve got time

One lie I often use is the “I don’t have enough time” one. It’s not that I’m willingly lying to people surrounding me. It’s more that I often feel like that’s the reality I live in.

I do have time in my hands. I do need to sleep 8 hours per day and that’s something I can’t cut on for too many days straight. I spend about 7 hours in my internship and then I come home for lunch at around 3 pm. I’m very fortunate about that, I know. Adding those obligatory hours it sums up to 15 hours. That’s not the problem. The problem is what I do with the 9 hours of the day I’m left with. When I say 9 hours it does seem like a lot of hours, doesn’t it? It’s because that’s a lot of hours.

There are always ways to reduce the amount of hours you’re spending with getting ready for work and with meals. You can find which is the time of the day in which you’re faster and getting things done – like hygiene and prepping your bag – in that period of time. You can also prep your meals in advance. There are all sorts of changes you can do in order to save time in the aspects. The question is: is what you’re saving time for worth the change?

That’s what I struggle with the most – motivation. I don’t always feel motivation to make those kinds of change in order to save time for the things I enjoy. I don’t know why that is. If it’s because I don’t really like those things that much or if it’s because I’m simply lacking motivation for everything. Is it being lazy or there’s more underneath this?

And this is not about being the most productive possible. It’s about finding time to do the things we enjoy to do.

I’ve got time – you probably do as well. I’m not managing it so well – are you?

Update to “Books I need to read asap!”

In the 17th of february I posted a compilation of the books I wanted to get read as soon as possible. Two months have passed and things aren’t looking that great… Here’s an update.

Read pile

I’ve finished Piso 3 Quarto 313 by Fernando Correia, The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan and I Am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced by Nujood Ali. All these books were mentioned in the previous post and I’m proud I’ve kind of sticked with the plan for the past two months!

Currently-reading pile

I’m still reading Um Homem Chamado Ove (in english A Man Called Ove) by Fredrik Backman, An Inconvenient Truth by Al Gore and Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse, just like I was two months ago. I’ve made some process in A Man Called Ove which I should finish soon enough!

I’ve also started reading two more books that weren’t in the first list – as if I didn’t have enough there… The Titan’s Curse by Rick Riordan, following The Sea of Monsters, and The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby.

To-be-read pile

I eliminated four books from the ones I’ve mentioned in the different categories in the other post without having read them, just because I felt overwhelmed! This being said, there are no more urgent books to be read after I finish the five I’m currently reading!

Rejection

The fear of rejection is probably worse than the rejection itself. At least that’s what I’ve experienced so far.

I’ve been wanting to record a “Questions and Answers” type of video for the longest time and I managed to record one so far. That’s too little when compared to how strongly I want to record them. I like the interaction it provides between “youtuber” and “viewer”.

The part of the process that annoys me while recording a video like that is the asking for questions part. I’m always as close as to beg for questions. I’ve posted a “tweet” where I asked for questions and I’ve only received one – from my boyfriend…

The tricky part is that I know that if I’d only jump over this process, if I’d only ask for questions in a stronger way, I’d probably get them. I could – and that’s probably what I’m going to do – record the first video with only that one question and then keep asking for questions. That could work and I could continue with that until people would connect and start asking questions.

You can understand by what I’ve said so far that what’s stopping me is indeed the fear of rejection and not the rejection itself. I was rejected when I’ve only received one question in my “tweet”, but it’s the fear of not receiving any more in the first “Q&A video” that’s stopping me from getting this started.

I shouldn’t stop doing what I enjoy doing because I’m afraid other people won’t like it because, honestly, I don’t feel that bad when they don’t. I don’t feel sad because I only have one question. I feel sad because I may not have the guts to record a video with only that one question – that’s actually a great question!

Whenever you feel the same way as I do and you don’t feel like doing something because you’re afraid people will reject you, think about if it will actually damage you to be rejected or if you’re just making a too big of a deal out of it – as I am right now.

(Even if it may damage you to be rejected, it may damage you more to not try. Note that as well!)

Pile of thoughts

It currently feels like the pile of things to do will never be gone. I’ve just finished an assignment and there’s already one more waiting to be done. There isn’t time to focus on other things I enjoy apart from Physiotherapy. Even though I do enjoy Physiotherapy, I’d love to be able to read, to write, to listen to music, to watch movies, to play videogames, without feeling guilty. What usually happens is that I do all those things while I should be doing Physiotherapy related assignments. I’m never happy and relaxed while doing those things. For example, I was about to go play a videogame but I’m not going to do that now because I know I wouldn’t be enjoying it as I’d like to. I know this happens to other people as well and I wish we’d all just have more freetime. It’s a social issue that should be solved. There isn’t time to focus on our family and friends. There isn’t time to follow other passions. We don’t have to have only one passion. We can have several of those and we should be able to pursue all of them. There isn’t enough time.